Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica is a nude resort. As of today, the adults-only vacation resort is 3-years shy of turning 50. That’s five decades of debauchery. Most of us were either toddlers or weren’t thought of yet. I feel like a pup from thinking about it. Shout out to my lovely cougars.
Public nudity is illegal in Jamaica, but the laws are not enforced and may not apply inside the private resort. That’s good news for nudists who like to prance around like they’re in the privacy of their home. The clothing optional side aka the “prude side” is for people who won’t dare to go bare. That’s before they get liquor courage from throwing back a few drinks. Sex is not guaranteed, and not exclusive to swingers. It’s a place where you can leave your worries @ home to make a new home on vacation.
With everything in life, there are certain things you gotta look out for so you won’t make a fool of yourself. Sexual politics is pretty much behaviors that govern how people respond to you and others, along with the unwritten rules that you might become aware of until it’s too late. But no worries. That’s why I wrote this article — to give newbies the headz up to dispel the belief that the resort is a free-for-all. Everybody on the resort don’t have the same agenda, and a wise man once said, “If you approach every situation the same, you’ll fail to see their differences.”
So without further ado, let the games begin.
I’m gonna kickoff the article with the couples.
Aaaaaah yes.
The couples.
The female in a couple will most likely play with a single male if she sees him playing with another chick on the resort. If his stroke game is A-1, then her curiosity will hit the moon. The male in the couple will most likely become comfortable after seeing that the single guy got enough game to bag a chick on his own. And because the single guy is a chick magnetic instead of lurking around the resort like a creep, the guy in the couple might feel comfortable with his lady playing separately with him. If the couple is the play together type, then the single male might have to bring a chick for a swap.
Fair exchange is no robbery.
Then you have dudes who like to see their main squeeze get fucked by a single male. He ain’t trippin about a swap. He wants to see his woman satisfied. The word of the day is compersion. Look it up.
These are two types of women I AVOID on the resort:
A) The newbie
And
B) The non-lifestyler
The newbie chick gotta take baby steps to play on the resort. I don’t got time for that shit. Cold feet is a bitch, but hey, I get it. Anybody’s first time @ Hedo could be like the first day of school. Me personally, I want an experienced woman. A chick who knows what she wants. She doesn’t give a fuck about how she’s judged. If she likes you, you’re getting fucked. Point blank.
The non-lifestyle chick (someone who’s not a part of the swing community) is more interested in getting boo’d up. Busting nuts isn’t her priority. She’s looking for love. If you’re the type of dude who wanna wife a chick throughout the trip on some lovey dovey shit, then go for it. Otherwise, there’s nothing cool about a clingy chick playing bug-a-boo while you wanna sample some of the goodies on the resort.
Hit up the nude side around 2 a.m. after the disco. That’s prime time if you wanna have an idea of who’s on the resort to play. The hot tub is where it goes down before sunrise. But I gotta warn you, that chlorine is strong as hell. For good reason too. The amount of cum that’s extracted from the human body is one of them. I got my rocks off in the hot tub a few times. It took me until the last night of the trip to realize that the nude side in the wee hours of the morning is when people pick and choose their targets.
Whodini wasn’t lying when they sang, “The freaks come out @ night.”
Hedonism II attracts people of different nationalities, ethnic groups and races. It’s important to know the demographic of the group you wanna roll with. And with that said, party with white people on the nude side during the day. They turn up. You might see a gangbang or two while you’re @ it. Blacks and Latinos (for the most part) are too busy sight-seeing during the day or getting lit on a booze cruise on the way to Rick’s Cafe. The night @ the disco caters to the urban crowd based on the music that’s played — rap, R&B, reggae and house. So if you’re planning a trip with a diverse group of people, then be prepared to see the differences of how people party, because the contrast is most definitely visible.
Only a fool would go hard on the resort. And I’m not talking about an erection. I’m talking about over-persistence. Pussy will literally fall into your lap if you’re laid-back. You gotta be the lion on top of a mountain who looks down @ the animals playing on the prairie. There’s nothing like a chill out dude who knows how to read the room when chicks are digging him. Coming across like you’re beat for sex because you’re on a nude resort is a turn off. A bad reputation would destroy your trip faster than the bad news that spread. You can best believe that everybody’s watching how you move. Straight up. You seal the deal when a woman gives you signs that she wants you to bust dat ass, not when you’re playing a numbers game and hoping that some chick will take the bait.
Between fuckin’, eating and drinking, sit in the shade and get ya read on for a mental orgasm. This is not a shameless plug for my erotic comedy, The Promiscuous Virgin. It’s a treat from me to you. So do yourself a biiiiiiiig favor by clicking the link in the title that directs you to the Amazon page. I heard it’s a good read.
Now back to the lecture @ hand.
I wanna give a quick shout to the ladies from the Rotten Apple. That’s New York City, to be exact. I’ve been living in NYC since 2001, so I’m KINDA used to the “If I don’t know you, fuck you” mentality. Funny thing is, that mentality often travels to other countries. I seriously had to tell this one chick from NY, “Relax, ma. We’re not in New York anymore.” Shorty had a serious attitude. Her defenses were higher than a giraffe’s pussy. They’re the main ones who wanna get boo’d up and make a brotha work for the pussy. But hey, I ain’t mad. Sometimes you gotta keep those defenses up when you’re on vacation. That’s the best way to ward off muh’fuckas who got no home training.
So I get it…
…to a degree.
There’s ONE thing that can make or break your week on the resort:
The people you come with.
Make sure you’re VIRGIN TIGHT with your immediate crew, because that one obnoxious person can fuck up your week. If you can’t peace things up after a dispute, then your stay is gonna be a wash. If you’re rooming with a stranger from your travel group, then get to know them months before the trip. Phone chat. Build a rapport. Lay down the rules by telling each other your do’s and don’ts. Communication is key even though you will spend 99.999999999 percent of your time outside of the room to get your money’s worth.
Most couples gotta feel you out first. They’re not gonna fuck you on the strength of attraction. A good number of single people don’t get this. Why? Because singles have nothing to lose. When you’re with someone whom you love and respect, things change. You wanna see how people move before you decide to play with them. As a single male, you have to exercise patience if you have eyes on a chick who’s in a couple. Couples usually play with singles on the last day of the trip. At least from what I’ve seen. Not only she has to approve of whether she wants to play with you, but her man has to approve as well. And like I said earlier in this piece, they’re watching how you move throughout the trip once you make the initial contact.
There’s a difference between thirst and persistence.
Persistence is when a chick is jerkin me off in the nude pool, but might not wanna play @ the moment for whatever reason. She might have stage fright or some shit. Buuuuuut after the gift of gab from yours truly, shorty got me suckin’ her titties seconds later.
That’s persistence.
THIRST is when shorty is giving me zero rhythm, and my dumb ass is still tryna holla. Then I wonder why every chick on the resort thinks I’m a creep. Remember: Women talk, even when they don’t know each other. There are 5 chicks for every dude on the resort. You’ll be a fuckin’ fool to come across like a thirst bucket when the odds are in your favor.
Now this is what I call dedication. The good doctor took 100 trips to Hedo between 1980 and 2000. Good lawd!
And here’s the thing…
You, too, can carve your name in wood, or paint your name on rocks to leave behind, unless you don’t want the main squeeze to know you went to Hedo with the side piece.
#NoFaceNoCase
Overall, Hedonism II is what you make it. If the travel group you roll with is wack, then hit the clubs in Negril. It’s about a 15-minute cab ride from the resort. If you’re the scary type who’s afraid to party with the natives, then stay in your room and jerk off to porn all day. Your Firestick is your best friend. In all seriousness, knowing which travel group to roll with is super duper important. The events, the guests, and how the hosts organize their trips are gonna make or break your experience. Straight up. If you’re a hardcore swinger or lifestyler, then it’s best to NOT roll with a turn up group — a group that’s not affiliated with the LS but loves to hit up Hedo. God forbid that you choose a group who’s quick to yuck your yum. That’s why group research is important. But if you’re not the type to rely on travel groups to dictate your Hedo experience, then travel dolo or with a companion. Either way is cool.
Quickies:
- Pull a newbie to the side and school them about their mistakes so they won’t further embarrass themselves — don’t try to play them in front of people #EachOneTeachOne
- Fuck her mind first — mack from the face, not from the waist
- Take flirting before the trip with a grain of salt, because the sexual chemistry (or lack thereof) might be A LOT different in-person — that switch up is crazy
- Beware of prostitutes on the resort. They’re from the town and might get a day pass. You could spot them a mile away. They stand out like a brotha @ a Klan rally. They’re usually chicks who aren’t affiliated with any groups. But if buying native pussy is your thing, then have @ it
- Army fatigues is a no-go in most Caribbean islands, especially Jamaica. Only the country’s military can rock fatigues. If you fly into Jamaica wearing anything camouflage like shorts, shirt, pants, a bookbag, etc., authorities will either confiscate or tell you to change your clothes before you leave the airport (like they did me)
- Protect the ladies on the resort. If you see them drunk or too high out of their mind, give them water and escort them back to their room, especially @ night. Don’t rely on resort security to do their job. Hedonism II is a fun, safe environment, but stay on point. My antennas are always heaven high. We’re all family at the end of the day, but sometimes you have the odd ball who likes to take advantage of a situation. So fellas, look out for the safety of the ladies. They’ll thank you for it. And it’s good karma.
And on that note, I’m Audi 5 stacks
Cheerio!