Is There a Hierarchy in Polyamory?

Nah'Sun
3 min readOct 2, 2023

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Managing a Relationship with More Than One Person isn’t a Walk to the Bank

Hershony hosted her hedonistic harem, Panties and Pineapples. The theme was more like Masks and Robes. The Panties part of the theme symbolized the robe. Pineapples symbolized couples. No singles were allowed. The party was strictly for couples.

Cigars and hookahs were added for relaxation. If you didn’t smoke, you drank. If you didn’t drink, you mixed and mingled in the den, the living room, at the card table, or on the terrace.

Katt and Niccolo puffed Os on the terrace.

“So about this poly thing…” Niccolo opened the Pandora’s box.

She glanced at him like, whaaaaaat, from the surprise discussion. He usually ducked and dodged talks about poly like the plague.

“What do you expect from that?” He flicked ashes from the cigar into the outdoor ashtray.

“I expect from you what I expect from you now.” Katt stared off into the downtown skyline that resembled faint lines of red, blue, and yellow lights. “I expect truth, honesty, communication, and respect.”

Uncertainty triggered Niccolo. “Where does that leave me?”

“The same place you’re at now.”

“And that is?”

“There’s no hierarchy in polyamory. At least not in our dynamic. Not yours, not mine, not his…but ours,” she explained. “I’ll treat you no different from how we are now.”

“So what happens when me and ol boy need you at the same time?” He wasn’t sold on the poly.

“That depends on what you need and how serious the situation is. I’ll communicate with both of you about whether one situation is more dire than the other. It’s no different from making sure your guests feel at home while you sell out an event. Both are equally important, but sometimes you might have to throw an asshole out the club to make room for people who got some sense. We all must do the work for the greater good.”

Niccolo pumped the brakes on a response. He exhaled smoke from his cigar that looked like two pieces of a heart. If the broken heart was the precursor of the future, then his decision might determine the status of their relationship.

“So you’re calling me an asshole?” He leered at his main squeeze with the side of his upper lip arched up.

“No, silly.” She nudged him. “I was making a comparison.”

“I know, I know.” His smirk erased the mean mug. “But don’t you think there would be an issue with choosing one over the other?” He asked when the smoke faded to black.

“The issue is much bigger than me tending to either of you,” she replied. “If you have a problem with how I handle an issue concerning you and him, then that needs to be addressed. As long as you know I’m there for you, we should be good. This ain’t a competition.”

Niccolo took another pull as he was still clueless about the pending polyship between her, him, and whatever his name is. Half of him said, fuck that. It’s my way or the bye way. The other said, fuck it…let’s see where this leads. The ebbs and flows of his thoughts see-sawed into whether he should let her go, but he wasn’t ready to end the relationship.

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